You know how you get those fearsome older ladies who no one ever messes with and who just say what they think and without even trying to they just command respect everywhere they go. I want to be one of those. I desperately want to be one! You know the type; the ones who can say anything and get away with it because no one ever dares question them or answer them back. The ones who get special treatment everywhere and who simply expect people to drop everything for them. I’ve known a few in my time. There’s one woman who springs to mind; she talks like The Queen and dresses like one of the women in Ab Fab. She wafts around in a haze of designer clothes, perfume and big hair and people fall at her feet everywhere she goes. There is a fab story that has made us all laugh for years: one day she went to a posh London hotel with a lady friend. They proceeded to get hammered drunk on the finest champagne (or “a little squiffy” in her words). As she went to get in the taxi at the end, she slipped and broke her leg! People came running from all over to help her and instead of admitting she was shit faced, she blamed it on the floor (in her posh voice sounding like The Queen) and everyone was like “Yes, yes, of course, it was the floor! We are so sorry!” and they basically gave her a load of free stuff and a free room for life! They daren’t question her because, you know; she’s fearsome and no one messes….
I love those type of ladies. I’m in awe of them. They literally do what they please and expect the whole world to bow down to them (and mostly it does). A lot of the time people are so gobsmacked at how direct they are that they don’t know what else to do but fulfil their demand (i.e. go and get that champagne NOW or immediately move them to a better table or whatever it is they’re asking). I wish I was more direct and immediately demanding of respect. I wish I put fear in people the second they lay eyes on me! Unfortunately I am too soft. Most people probably look at me and think
‘Who is this pink haired weirdo?” Haha.
An example being: the day I went to my first wrestling show